naughty jokes*(one cant forget)

Once Rajnikant taught a kid how to enter a house without ringing
the doorbell....

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today that kid is known as inspector Daya(CID)... 

 

Sabse Bhari Durghatna

Santa: Sabse bhari durghatna kya ho sakti hai
Banta: Agar koi potty dhone ke dibbe me Tejab dal de 

 

Santa's 6 Months Baby

Santa apni 6 months ki Baby ki aawaz record kar raha tha.
Banta ne puchha iska kya karoge?
Santa: Jab ye badi ho jayegi to ise suna kar iska matlab puchhunga. 

 

 

Why Do Girls Prefer Love Marriage

Why do girls prefer Love marriage than an arrange one
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Coz a known Kamina is better then an unknown 

 

Kaam Jisse Mera Sar Uncha Ho

Papa: Aaj tak tune aisa koi kam nhi kiya jisse mera sar uncha hua ho
Beta: Maine ek bar aapke sar k neeche 2 takiye lagaye to the 

 

Laash Ka Kya Karoon

Shaadi ke doosre din beti apni maa se, Aaj meri unse bahut ladai ho gayi!
Maa: Beti shaadi me jhagde to hote rehte hain!
Beti: Wo sab to theek hai! Par ab LAASH ka kya karoon

Few People Drink Directly From Bottle

Santa : My Grand Father Lived For 96 Years, He Never Used Glasses
Banta : Ya, I Know, Few People Drink Directly From Bottle :) 

 

 

Why Dont U Just Surprise Him?

KID- Mom, I want a Baby brother!
MOM- Son, ur dad is overseas! Wen he comes back, we'll talk over it!
KID- Why dont u just surprise him??? 

 

Santa's Dad Gave Him A Gun

Santa's dad gave him a gun on wedding night & said: Fire in air if ur wife is virgin, shoot her if not.
Santa fired in air 1st night & shot her 2nd night. 

 

Ladies Garments Shop

Sardar Ko Ladies Garments Shop Mein Salesman Ki Naukri Mili.
Ek Ladki Aayi Aur Kaha:Underwear Dikhao.
Sardar(Sharmate Hue):Aaj Nahi Pehna 

 

Ladka Hi Achha Hota Hai

Sardar:Ladkiyan Bhi Ajeeb Hoti Hain, Baat Karo To Thappad Marti Hain
Pathan:Yeh Tumne Bilkul Sahi Baat Kiya, Ladka Hi Achha Hota Hai 

 

Nut Wala Hai Ya Bolt Wala?

Ek Mekenic Ki Wife Ki Delivery Hui
Wife Ne Husband Ko Sms Bheja:Mubarak Ho Apka Spare Part Aagya He
Husband Ne Reply Kya:NUT Wala Hai Ya BOLT Wala? 

 

Sab Kuchh Chhota Nahi Hai

Santa Singh Had A Baby
Sardar:Bilkul Meri Jaisi Ankhe Hain "chhoti chhoti"
Meri Jaisi Nak Hai “chhoti Si”
Mere jaise honth "chhote chhote"
Jeeto ne Baby Ka Pamper Khol Ke Boli, "sab kuchh aapke jaisa chhota nahi hai" 

 

Tumhari Aakhon Me

Premi to premika- "Darling mujhe tumhari aankhon me saari duniya dikhai deti hai.."
Peeche se ek budhha bola- "Hamari gaiyya nahi mil rahi.. Dikhe to batana.." ;-) 

 

Pappi Ka Ek Rupeya

Santa: Oh yaar main badi mushkil mein hoon. Meri biwi mujhse ek pappi ka Ek rupeya leti hai.
Banta: Oh yaar tu lucky hai, auron se to woh 5 rupaye leti hai. 

 

Soch Or Veham Me Kya Fark Hai

Teacher: Soch or veham me kya fark hai..?
Pappu: Aap ki beti sweet & sexy hai.. ye hamari soch hai or wo hamare hathon se bach jayegi ye aap ka veham hai 

 

When Wife Is Pregnant

Tension is when wife is pregnant!
Terror: when girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror: when both r pregnant!
Tragedy: when u r not responsible 4 both! 

 

Fasi Hui Payment

1child 1rs ka coin kha gaya. Kuch din baad potty mei uska coin bahar aa gya to child maa se bola-
Aaj bahut din bad fasi hui payment mili hai. 

 

Dirty Doc

girl 2 Dr: medical check up karana hai.
Dr: sare kapde utar ke parde ke pichhe let jao.
girl-mera nahi mummy ka.
Dr: acha ! mataji jeeb dikhao.